#2: The Tragic Demise of Rupert

rupert was borne of an uninspired attempt to make a doggie out of a balloon. this misguided venture into balloon sculpture ended more quickly than it began, and he was cast away in all of his inadequacy and sad resemblance to a martian before he even had time to learn to like his drunken clown-master. despite this rather inaustere beginning, rupert had a noble spirit, and decided to embrace his quiet life of solitude by filling it with adventure! day after day he sought new places to go and people to meet, never stopping long enough to reflect on his circumstances and wallow in self pity. it would have been a long and inspiring biopic detailing all of the different things that can happen to a resilient piece of latex, when he was swept up by the gale of a hand dryer, where he was slowly tortured into a melting gummy consistency.